Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Relationships Deciphered

The purpose of this blog is to bring some clarity to the enigmatic nature of relationships through the in-depth examination of common relational impasses with the goal of increasing insight into our behavior and thought processes*.

In addition, this blog will discuss relevant topics in the field of psychotherapy in an attempt to educate and reduce stigma around mental health and psychotherapy in general.

*This blog is NOT focused solely on romantic relationships.

Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy

Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is a type of therapy that focuses on the irrational thinking people hold on to. The premise is that people are controlled by their thoughts. That is, the way we think about situations or, specifically, the view we take of them, will impact how we feel about the situation and ourselves, and will lead us to behave in a manner consistent with our thinking. As a result of faulty thinking we often end up feeling worthless, hopeless, anxious, guilty or depressed. 

For example, a person struggling with test anxiety isn't worried about or afraid of a piece of paper with words or numbers on it. If words or numbers on a paper were something to be feared then everyone should have a similar response to them. Since this isn't the case, what they are reacting to are their irrational thoughts such as: "If I don't pass I won't graduate," "everyone will be disappointed in me," or "I am a failure!"

REBT assists with becoming aware of and challenging irrational thinking. Changing irrational thinking to a version that is more rational allows us to live a life we desire. Therapy consists of finding evidence to counter our irrational thoughts and replacing them with ones that are consistent with a more rational and logical way of thinking.