“Sometimes you have the pieces and you just need help putting the puzzle together” - Stevon Lewis
My approach to therapy is that my clients possess the abilities they need to reach their potential. I see therapy as a collaborative process where my job is to take the pieces they bring into the therapy room and help them put them in an order that makes the picture clearer. That means therapy can look differently for each person. One person may need to be educated on the connection between their thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Another may need tools to increase their defense against the inner bully. Often times, I am listening to my clients neglect themselves and their own needs, and refer to themselves in disparaging ways. I’ll be honest, I hate that shit! My clients are amazing people and it’s tough to watch them not see themselves as such.
As a result, I spend a significant amount of time getting them to see the greatness that is already in them. For many, they didn’t have parents that were supportive of them, or encouraging. In fact, their parents were often critical! Even if done with good intent, the impact of being criticized too much, is that we develop into adults that often doubt our abilities, require extreme levels of evidence to prove we’re worthy, don’t feel like we’re deserving of the good that happens us, or dismiss the significance of our accomplishments as routine. I pay attention to language and call my clients out about the negative words they use to describe something they have done. They often tell me they hear my voice when their about to be “mean” to themselves.
We’re all human, we’re all fallible! We’re also worthy, capable, and competent; maybe not in all things, but in something, and we need to see ourselves as such. You’re not a fraud, you’re not a phony, everyone else isn’t better than you or more deserving, and your accomplishments aren’t mediocre. If you feel like you’re having a tough time challenging those irrational beliefs please reach out to me by clicking here. I’ll help you put the pieces of your puzzle together.